“After suffering a debilitating nervous breakdown in early 2006, Holly Maxwell Boydell took many years to shake off the last vestiges of limitation that this experience had introduced to her life. It was not the first time that she had felt her world crumble, after enduring years of different types of stress and finally feeling as though ‘the elastic had snapped’.
This is my story … I am Holly Maxwell Boydell and I lived this journey … indeed, I am still on the journey to this day. I am grateful to be able to look back and to say “I made it”.“
Recently I created a page on my website, The Holly Tree Tales, where you will find more information about how you can be helped to raise the timbre of your life, just as I have been helped to do so, by engaging your brain to help. There are very effective brain training programmes to make this easier for us. The new page is entitled Brain Training and you can find it by clicking on this link.
It is easy to fall into patterns of behaviour and to think that other people are responsible for or somehow influencing our actions and results, but this is a disempowering way to live our lives and does not bring us good outcomes, ever.
Our brains listen to what we tell them and they have to be trained to serve us better. Our brains are designed to help us to survive, to keep us safe – they are not designed for success. Our brains are created and designed to do our bidding and to enable us to live optimally on earth. Our brains do what they are habituated and trained, BY US and our environments, to do.
What is your brain’s ‘default mode’? What is your habituated way of thinking and behaving in different circumstances? These are things to become mindful and aware of.
It is far better for us to open our eyes to the reality that we have all sorts of things that we can control in our own thinking, motivation, behaviour and results. We can change so much for our own lives and those whose lives we influence, by taking command of our brains, rather than settling always into default and reactionary behaviour.
When we become more mindful and aware of our thinking habits, the patterns and self-talk that we are living our lives from, we begin to take ownership of our lives, our own energy that we are transmitting to others, and our results.
We begin to become the ‘Captains of our own souls’ (refer to the poem “Invictus” – and the film by the same name, about Nelson Mandela and the Springbok rugby team – which demonstrates the power of this type of approach) as we start to steer the life ship ourselves, rather than having habits and negativity – our own or others’ – drive us. This is empowerment. This is what changes lives.
In the image with this blogpost, you can see me, the Author, looking very nervous and also very determined. I can tell you that I was determined and nervous, as I am the one who was being photographed, but you might see other things in my eyes. The image is grainy and it was taken in a hurry, just before I set off to attend a day of talks about speaking as a profession. That was mid June 2018. I was nervous, I was still double checking everything and trying really hard to find my confidence, in many ways. I wrote about the day this photo was taken in one of my blogposts, which you can read here.
That year, 2018, held a number of very significant moments for me, when I began to seriously step up the process of breaking out of my cage of fear and lack of confidence and self-worth, that had severely limited and controlled much of my life for years beforehand. Now, two years beyond the photo, I am ready to stand on any stage in front of any audience anywhere. I am ready to speak and to share and to lift and to teach and to go beyond the beyond to help others, just as I have been helped to help myself.
I love the Chinese saying
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
It is not a solution to hand someone everything on a plate and expect them to make a success of what is given to them. What brings success is the decision to stop the habitual patterns of thinking and behaviour, to learn better ways, to get to work to heal ourselves and to take ownership of our own thinking and actions. Learning skills for life enhancement are what helps us to create and to build better lives.
Even if others have treated us badly, unfairly, or plain wrong,
we can learn to rise above.
I have spent a great deal of my life rising above and I have developed a keen sense and desire for riding on the currents of life. I do not have time left on this earth to waste on being pulled back by negative attitudes or environments and I will happily help others out of their cages as well. I know how awful it is to be ‘trapped’ in a spiral of despair and to feel helpless. I am relieved to have learnt more about the power and unending abilities of my incredible brain. You can have this freedom too.
First, we have to get very serious about changing the course of our lives. First, we have to arrive at a place of saying ‘Enough’ and have the commitment to do whatever it takes to break out of moulds, patterns, debilitating habits and anything that is holding us back from living lives of freedom and inner peace and success – however we determine it.
We have to get serious about what matters in life and become lovers more than haters – of ourselves and of others. Basically, we have to learn to drop the fear and get the beast of limitation and non-alignment off our backs, so that we become free to soar.
Life is a constant learning and improving process, if we allow it to be.
Life can be lived optimally, if we are prepared to do the work that it takes to live well, in any hour and any moment. We can employ our brains to help us to overcome whatever we have to endure in order to find that peace and then to savour its sanctity, by taking right steps and having the right mindsets.
I am utterly grateful to many people for helping me to rescue myself. It has been a rough road and a long journey in life, my ‘rescue’ not possible to have undertaken alone, no matter how determined nor how hard I tried to do life. I am so appreciative of the internet having helped me to find the help I needed to escape a cage and I am grateful to God for guiding every one of my steps.
Before I turned my life around and, in many ways, back to the confidence levels that I had known in my early twenties, I travelled an arduous and often tortuous path. It is still not smooth and I am dealing with ongoing waves as I write, but I am Captain of my own life ship and I know that I can handle anything that life throws at me … even if and when it brings me right down onto my knees, as it has done in the last year as well.
Soon I shall be stepping up the way that I help others by leading a masterclass, where I shall be sharing more of my story and helping people to tap into their courage, as I have done and am still learning more and more about. There will be news on this and other masterclasses / masterminds that I shall be either speaking at or facilitating, in coming blogposts and on my social media. If you would like to be on my mailing list, please subscribe to my Newsletter today, so that you can be in the loop that way too.
There is always hope and there is always a way beyond our pain, whatever it is that we are facing and dealing with. Our brains are incredibly powerful and have enormous capacity to help us to heal our lives and to go on to achieve wellbeing and success. Let’s hold onto that knowledge and hope, knowing that we can give ourselves the gift of a life of joy and success!
All we ever have to do in life is make a choice … we always have choice about how we think and behave.
Until next time, here’s a tip: stay mindful of your thoughts! Enable your brain to serve you well by becoming aware of what it is habitually thinking and doing.
Oh, and remember to check out the Brain Training page at The Holly Tree Tales.
PS. I manage and ‘teach’ within a private group on Facebook called Prayer And Love. It is a closed group, for those who would like to meet together online to connect with others in a calm and loving space and to learn and pray. You are invited to apply to join the group, which is free, and to meet with us from anywhere in the world as we gather ‘live’ each week. This is a good way to nurture the brain, gathering mindfully and learning awareness, which is the primary point of the group, Prayer And Love. Apply here (click the link).
PPS. Here is the link to the Newsletter sign up page. (click the link)